


We're Working On It

by Brumeier



Series: Bite Sized Fic 2019 [53]
Category: Misfits of Science, Stargate Atlantis
Genre: First Meetings, M/M, Prompt Fill, Science Experiments, Superpowers, Undercover Missions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-07 03:56:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20303074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brumeier/pseuds/Brumeier
Summary: LJ Comment Fic for 100 Words on Music prompt:Stargate Atlantis/Any, Evan Lorne/Any, "Hand In My Pocket" (Alanis Morissette)In which Evan goes undercover at Humanidyne's Human Investigation Team division, meets some truly unique people, and embarks on a new adventure.





	We're Working On It

“You’re not Miss Nance,” Dr. Hayes said, pausing at Evan’s desk on his way into the lab.

“No, sir. Miss Nance won a trip to Los Angeles, to watch them film _General Hospital_,” Evan replied. “She might get to do a walk-on.”

Dr. Hayes looked thoughtful. “_General Hospital_. Is that the one with Dr. Sexy or Dr. Smoothy?”

“Dr. Smoothy, sir. I’m here until she gets back.”

“Good. Great. If you have any questions…ask someone else. I never know what the heck is happening around here.”

Dr. Hayes gave Evan a cheerful wave and disappeared into the lab.

Miss Nance’s trip had actually been arranged so that Evan could slip in undercover at Humanidyne. As office manager, he’d have access to pretty much everything, and the SGC wanted to know if scientists there had come across Ancient artefacts.

It was a good thing Evan was used to things inexplicable and strange, because Humanidyne had that in spades.

On his first day, he encountered a man who was receiving radio broadcasts through his dental work, a woman who started fires every time she sneezed, a guy dressed like a rock star who had glowing eyes that at first made Evan reach for the gun he wasn’t currently carrying before he realized the guy wasn’t a Goa’uld, and an array of scientists carrying on very strange experiments.

He also realized that Miss Nance, as an office manager, left a lot to be desired in terms of organizational skills. He couldn’t make heads or tails of her filing system, her desk calendar was full of notations that seemed to be about the men she was dating, and her most organized spreadsheet was all about the plot points on _General Hospital_.

She’d also let the little philodendron on her desk wither away to almost nothing. Evan was trying to coax it back to life, but he thought it might be too far gone.

Humanidyne was a chaotic place, and Evan had no idea how they’d once operated under military oversight. The so-called human anomalies that came in for testing or treatment left behind scorch marks, blood stains, and one very unfortunate slime trail. The director, Mr. Stetmeyer, was always anxiously popping in and out of the lab, his face perpetually pinched as he tried to find ways to turn human anomalies into research that would bring in some funding.

There was also the time that the rock star with the glowing eyes, Johnny Bukowski, shot lightning from his arm and knocked out the power to the whole facility.

It was fun, though, too. The situations popping up in and out of the lab generally weren’t life-threatening, and Evan got the chance to meet some really interesting people. By the end of the second day, he’d set up a regular chess game with an invisible man, developed a better filing method, and managed to get Dr. Hayes to stand still long enough to give him his phone messages; his mother called a lot.

As a gene carrier, Evan wasn’t getting any mental pings that would suggest an Ancient artefact was on site. Though that would certainly explain how everyday people ended up with such interesting – and often bizarre – special powers.

He was in the middle of re-organizing the filing cabinets – Miss Nance’s desk was stacked high with file folders, and Evan had wondered if he shouldn’t just digitize everything instead – when someone cleared their throat noisily to get his attention.

“Hello? Is there anyone in there?”

Evan popped out from behind the desk, steadying a stack of folders with one hand. “Can I help you?”

The guy looked nervous. He was tall (most people were next to Evan) and weedy and kind of goofy looking, but there was something about him that made Evan want to set him at ease.

“I’m not sure I’m in the right place.”

“This is Humanidyne, HIT Division. Do you have an appointment?”

“No, I don’t. I wasn’t…That is, I don’t…Just look.”

The guy touched his finger to the emaciated philodendron, and right before Evan’s eyes it started to rejuvenate. The leaves unfurled and deepened to a healthy green and it grew so much so fast that the plastic pot it was in cracked.

“Wow,” Evan said, impressed. “That’s cool.”

The guy looked surprised. “Really?”

“Sure. You just brought that thing back from the dead. Does it work like that on everything?”

“Just plants.”

Evan was no expert, but he could see the practical applications of such a talent. Quick-grow gardens, healing burn-off, maybe even re-growing whole chunks of rainforest.

“Dr. Lincoln has some room in his schedule today,” Evan said. “Can you hang out until one?”

“Yes. Of course.”

“What’s your name, sir?”

“Oh, you don’t…It’s David. Parrish. David Parrish.”

Evan filled that information in on the electronic calendar, which would send a reminder to Dr. Lincoln’s phone. He’d be able to give David more of his attention than Dr. Hayes, who reminded Evan of an excitable puppy dog. In the meantime, Evan could fill out a quick case study for Dr. Lincoln to refer to later, which would save time. He shifted the stacks of folders around so he could see David while he typed.

“Can you tell me when this started, Mr. Parrish?”

“It’s Dr. Parrish. But just David. I mean, you can call me David.” He flashed Evan a quick grin, and wow. Nice smile. “Um, this started about two weeks ago?”

“Do you remember the circumstances?”

“It was the fertilizer,” David said, and then blushed. “That is, I’m a botanist? And I got in a batch of new fertilizer, it was a kind I hadn’t used before. It was supposed to be all-natural, no nitrates, but something happened and the whole batch of it just exploded. I was thrown off my feet, scraped up my arms pretty good.” 

He pushed up his sleeves to show Evan the scabs.

“After that, I started being able to make plants grow just by touching them. It’s kind of freaking me out.”

“Don’t worry,” Evan said. “Everything’s going to be fine. Dr. Lincoln will do his best to figure out what happened and maybe how to reverse it. Although I think that’s a pretty great superpower to have.”

That earned Evan another smile.

Once he finished the case history, Evan spent the rest of the time just chatting with David and looking at pictures on David’s phone of some hilariously oversized vegetables.

“Dr. Parrish?” Dr. Lincoln appeared next to Evan’s desk. He was well over seven feet tall and, by all accounts, a miserable basketball player despite his height. He was a nice man, though, and a compassionate scientist. “Come with me.”

“You’re in good hands, David. Good luck.”

David, who Dr. Hayes started calling Mr. Green Jeans, became a regular visitor to Humanidyne as he underwent several rounds of testing. He always brought something for Evan. One time it was a tomato the size of a basketball, and another time a cucumber he could’ve used for a baseball bat.

Evan looked forward to David’s visits to the lab, as much as he looked forward to chess matches with his invisible partner. Unfortunately, his inability to turn up even a hint of anything Ancient meant that the SGC recalled him at the end of the week. He didn’t get a chance to say goodbye to David, or anyone else.

It was a surprise, then, to be called into General Landry’s office to find Dr. Hayes, Dr. Lincoln, and David waiting for him.

“Sir?”

“It would seem, Major, that you made some friends during your assignment.”

“What are you doing here?” Evan asked David. It was Dr. Hayes who answered.

“The office has been a disaster since you left. We need you back. And taking on the military is kind of what we do, right El?”

Dr. Lincoln looked resigned. “No, it isn’t. Billy, I don’t think Evan is going to leave the military to be our secretary.”

Dr. Hayes waved him off. “See, what I’m thinking is that we could use maybe a teeny, tiny bit of oversight. No-one as ham-handed as General Theil, of course. Plus, I figure some of what our human anomalies are capable of might be of interest to your super-secret alien program. Provided no-one is conscripted into service or alien autopsied or anything like that.”

Evan looked at General Landry, who looked more amused than anything else. How had Dr. Hayes found out about the SGC? Maybe he didn’t want to know.

“Are you trying to get us killed?” Dr. Lincoln muttered.

“No-one’s getting killed,” General Landry said. “Dr. Hayes, I’d be very interested to hear more about your proposal.”

“Really?”

“Really?” Dr. Lincoln echoed.

“Thank goodness,” David said, letting out a breath. “But shouldn’t we ask Evan what he wants?”

Everyone turned to look at Evan. It was a lot to take in, but after the week at Humanidyne he was pretty confident of his answer.

“I’d be very interested, sir. But…what about Miss Nance?”

“_General Hospital_ hired her,” Dr. Hayes said, shrugging. “They wanted a super fan on staff for plot lines or continuity or something. Stetmeyer is going to have a cow if we don’t bring you back with us. We’ve never been so organized.”

It was nice to feel wanted, and he knew he could be an asset to the program. Plus, it would give him a chance to get to know David better. Evan didn’t have his situation figured out just yet, but he knew everything was going to be just fine.

It would be a whole new adventure.

**Author's Note:**

> **AN:** This fic is only very (very) loosely related to the prompt. But once I got the idea to send Evan to Humanidyne, I just had to write it. Misfits was my favorite show when I was a teenager, and it still makes me happy when I watch it today. If you didn’t catch the Dr. Smoothy mention, Joe Flanigan is currently playing a psychologist on _General Hospital_, if you check out [ esteefee’s journal on dreamwidth](https://esteefee.dreamwidth.org/tag/general+hospital), she helpfully puts up his scenes. She refers to him as Dr. Smoothy, which is awesome!
> 
> The title is a nod to Billy’s speech in the pilot movie, where he’s telling all the military types and senators the cool things they could have if they just upped the funding for his division. “Imagine if you will an army of soldiers that can actually see in the dark. We’re working on it.”
> 
> As a final note, Miss Nance spent almost the entirety of the pilot ep watching soap operas on her little TV while all the crazy stuff was going on. I figured she'd jump at the chance to get more involved. ::grins::


End file.
